You make me so mad!

I have an arrangement with both my ex’s regarding the kids and holidays. It is as follows:

1. Ex “A” demanded through the courts to have every school holidays one year & 3 of them the next year, with Easter & Christmas every 2nd year.  Well for the last 3 years in a row he has failed to have our daughter all but the Christmas holidays and then didn’t even give a lame excuse as to why he isn’t having her this Easter & school holiday period.
2. Ex “B” has the same access and has just given the excuse that he has to work… even though he has had ample time to pre-arrange with his work to have time off.  He has a girlfriend with kids so it’s not like he needs to take the entire time off work.  But why does he still not have the kids you may ask.  He has given no explanation at all. But I am sure the girlfriend’s kids will have a lovely holiday & Easter with their step-daddy.

Well this year I have refused to make up excuses like every other year. I will no longer pretend that you are a perfect daddy that cares so much that you work extra (Ex “B” doesn’t pay child support). The kids are old enough (13, 8 & 8) to know the truth. Your father’s just can’t be bothered with the details. I’m sorry but it is true.  The holiday access is the same for both. It is a 2 year cycle and has been that way for 4yrs now (more for Ex “A”), so they can’t give me the excuse of “I didn’t have time to organise anything” or “Oops was that this year, damn it seems like only yesterday that I saw them, oh it wasn’t yesterday it was 12mths ago, I wondered why you had doubled in height since the last time I saw you”

Can you see why I am so angry.  They have every opportunity to see their kids, but instead would rather not see them. How do you think that makes them feel.  It is not me that is making them disrespect & begrudge their own father’s. I don’t need to help any. They are doing quite a fabulous job of that themselves.

Instead I am the one that suffers along with them. The mood swings, the feelings of rejection, the blame all falls on me. I watch them mope around sad & hurt knowing that their father’s probably haven’t even given it a second thought on how it has effected the kids.

So as the title goes… YOU MAKE ME SO MAD!

 

Easier said than done

Thank goodness for running in to people you know that have kids that are friends with your kids.  Why you ask? Well this is the joy of being a single mum when your family is too far away to help out in those little moments.

I study 2 courses, 1 part-time & the other full-time and I work part-time every 2nd weekend as well as a casual “as needed” job.

The twins normally go to their paternal grandparents on the weekends that I work, but due to ailing health this is becoming harder and harder to do for their Nanna and this weekend is one of those moments.

The twins are not old enough to stay on their own and their teenage sister is not old enough to take on that responsibility of both of them at once.

Ask your own mother, you may say. Well I don’t have one. What about their dad? He has chosen to move 1000km away to be with his girlfriend and her children. Pay for a sitter. I may as well stay home then as I can’t justify working and then giving 3/4 of that to a babysitter.

Most people think that being a single mum means sitting around all day doing nothing and accepting social security from the government.  Well not every single mum/dad fits into that category.

My life consists of living below the financial poverty line, yet I am trying to get above that line.

Unfortunately for me while the twins are not old enough to stay on their own I have to live by strict times. Yes there is before & after school care but by the time I take that out of a wage I would be left with less money.

A lot of people don’t take into account that I don’t have a partner to bump up the monetary income into the household, or to pick up the kids nor do I have the luxury of free care.

I am totally on my own. No mum, no dad, no family within a 50Km radius. I am doing this on my own.

So anyway back to the reason behind this blog. The twins are now being dragged here, there and everywhere today and only because yesterday I ran into one of the twins friends mum. Once I told her of my plight she was all to willing to have 1 of the twins as she had a rare night off herself.

A big thank you to you for helping me.

So to all those people out there who say “just take any job offered” I say “EASIER SAID THAN DONE!”

February 3: I need your help!

February 3: I need your help!.

What charities do you support?

Just thought I would let you all know about the new widget I have added to the left >>>

I am supporting TWLOHA or To Write Love On Her Name. Suicide Prevention is very close to my heart. I have experienced first hand what is like to have someone close to you attempt or actually commit suicide. I think there is not enough help out there for people with depression.

If we could just let those who suffer know that it is okay to ask for help. But in saying that would you be there if someone came to you and said “I’m depressed and I want to die”?

Well I have and I am always there. This person knows that I would drop everything to help them. It is a never ending road that I am happy to walk.

I love you.

Show your support too.

Go back to kindergarton

It amazes me how many adults these days are still so immature when they have a falling out with a friend.  I am sadly in the middle of one of these little tiffs.

Some of the back and forth comments coming out of these adults mouths reminds me of some of the things I used to say when I was 7 or 8 something even younger…

For example Friend A & B have had a major falling out over trivial matters. Friend A has evicted Friend B.

The situation is that Friend A is a known party person & used Friend B as a live in babysitter. Friend A is a very untidy person & Friend B is a clean freak, so we know who cleaned Friend A’s house. Friend B paid her rent plus board at a cost of what I think is way too much.  All Friend B needed was the occasional lift somewhere (Friend B has no licence).

Friend B texted her (now ex) housemate to say that the bins needed to be put out, well Friend A has now abused Friend B for stalking her. Friend B asked to collect the last of her belongings and Friend A  has replied with when I get 2 weeks rent.  Friend B has retaliated with “well I will charge you babysitting fees”, Friend A replied with “well I will add up all the petrol then”.

Seriously a) is the left over goods worth the rent owing? b) would it be worth just paying the $$ owing and have it dealt with? c) are we still children here with the bitching and bickering.

Friend B is now informing me of all the things Friend A has said behind my back… Friend A is telling me how much of a nutcase Friend B is.

I don’t care. We all have a bit of a bitch behind each others backs… Friend A is a habitual liar but I have learnt to deal with that in my own way, while Friend B is a liar but a push over.

Great friends yeah?

I just wish adults would learn to deal with issues in a more, I don’t know, ADULT WAY!

I had a falling out with an old friend of 20yrs who still had stuff at my house. I put it all neatly and carefully in a spot outside where it would not be seen by passer-bys, would not get weather damaged and sent her a message that it was there and what time I would not be there to afford an uncomfortable meeting.  It sat for 1 week so I asked a mutual friend if they could deliver it for me.  That was not hard and nothing was damaged nor was there any thanks but not the point. It was dealt with in an Adult manner.

Please, people, grow up, it is not that hard… stop acting like spiteful little children. 

Rant over

 

 

 

 

 

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Because we don’t donate enough…

It irks me that the local charities can complain and tell the media that they are sick & tired of Australians using Charity Bins as a dumping sight.

Australian's don't donate enough or charities don't collect, you be the judge?

Well if not collecting charity donations that have been left at a charity bin for 2 weeks (in which time it rained) is dumping rubbish then yes we do.

Why remove the 2nd charity bin and then leave it unchecked for over 2 weeks? There was even a lounge suite left there in good condition… well 3 days later it rained so maybe not so good now.